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October 16, 2009Hope you’re flying steadily to heaven, Baby. Mommy and Daddy are taking baby steps to face a life without you. Even though Mommy is in physical pain, I’m welcoming it to somehow take away my mind from the pain that this emptiness is giving me.
I miss feeling you, Baby. Daddy kanina unconsciously wrapped his arms around you. Thank God that I’m so drained that all I could not feel anything.
I’m still looking for reasons why we had to lose you, Baby. Coz I really can’t understand. And I need to understand… I need to understand in order for me to let go and go on with life.
I love you, Baby. We love you. Have a safe trip to heaven. And be the best guardian angel there.
Love lots,
Mommy Arte
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Lord, alam ko may rason ang lahat ng ‘to. Ilang beses na din na sinabi sa akin ’to. Pero bakit wala akong makita? Bakit puro kalungkutan lang?
Akala ko, matapang ako. Na matibay, na matigas. Bakit di umuubra ngayon? Pagod na pagod na ako, sa kakaiyak, sa pagiging malungkot. Pinipilit ko naman na maging masaya. Pero bakit parang habang pinipilit ko, lalong lumalayo. Pinipilit ko naman na limutin ung masakit na pangyayaring un, pero bakit habang lalo kong pinipilit, lalong kumakatok sa harapan ko ang sakit?
May nagsabi sa akin, let go of anger, and its easier daw for me to move on. I am trying! Pero sa inaraw araw na ginawa Mo, lagi nilang pinaparamdam ang pagbabalewala sa akin at sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon. I was not asking for pity, I was asking for understanding.
Please Lord, tulungan Mo po ako na magising at kumilos ng naaayon sa ’yong aral. Tulungan Mo po ako para magpursige na makawala sa kinasasadlakan ko ngayon.
Nagmamakaawa po ako, sana, sana hilumin mo ang mga sugat sa puso ko at sa lahat ng tao na nakapaligid sa akin, para maangkin namin ang kapayapaan na dulot ng pagpapatawad at pagmamahal.
Previous Comments
thank you. i’m waiting for the “when” part. as for the heartbreaking thing, it is more than that. i myself felt that my own life was sucked out of me.
Posted by melancholicduchess at October 20, 2009, 7:12 pmi haven’t experienced that much loss on a personal level, but somehow i can relate to how you feel. i remember when my aunt’s husband passed away unexpectedly. he was the love of her life. i remember her crying in her room. i remember when my sister’s boyfriend died in an accident. like my aunt, she locked herself up in her room and cried and played their theme song again and again. in both cases, they were inconsolable. we thought they were going crazy. we found ourselves helpless. there was nothing we could do but wait for the storm to be over. after what could’ve been forever, they found peace. my aunt went back to college and finished her degree. my sister found a new boyfriend and they are happily married now. i guess that as human beings, we’re entitled to second chances.
mourn for now as you should. when happiness comes knocking again, however, i want you to open the door without any feeling of guilt. for just as you’re entitled to mourn, so you’re entitled to be happy again.
you’ll be wonderful parents someday. your kids will be so lucky to have you.
Posted by plaridel at October 21, 2009, 4:58 amtake care of yourself. im sure ayaw ni inaanak baby gil na makita kang sakitin, hindi malusog at malungkot.
sana dumating na yung “when” mo. 
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bwahahaha!!!
i feel terribly sorry for your loss. it must be heartbreaking for you and your husband. be sad if you must. cry if you must. feel the pain in these darkest hours. someday, you’ll get over it. i don’t know when. but it will. and when it does, you’ll find yourself a better person.
Posted by plaridel at October 20, 2009, 8:37 am