a plea

a prayer, a plea… whatever you call it. isa lang ang gusto ko, ang ninanais ko, ang dinggin sya. 

Dear Baby,

Even after a day of your 1st check-up, Mommy is still in shock. I guess you were too shy to show yourself yesterday. Your doctor told me to see her again after a week. And as I try to remember her face while explaining your condition, I can’t help but succumb to the fear of the unknown.

After 5 minutes of trying to locate your heartbeat, I finally closed my eyes and hope against hope that it was just a bad dream. I took the risk of looking at your daddy, and he was there in the corner, with his crinkled forehead, his “mangot” mode, trying desperately to listen to that distinctive sound. My heart was clutched in a cold, never-before-known fear. I tried hard not to cry. As I listen to the recommendation for that another test to perform, my brain’s silently praying.

As we walk out that door, heading for that another test, Daddy Mangot hugged me tight, and asked “What was that?” It took superhuman effort not to give in to the urge to just break down and cry. As I tried to relay what your doctor told me, I was also trying to understand what it all meant. I was shivering badly.

Lying in that small room, wincing in pain as the equipment work its way to look at you, I’m earnestly praying to Him. And I was pleading with you. With her explanation, I thought I was dying. I can’t believe that such possibility could happen to me, to you.

Daddy Mangot looked at me. And I begged him to talk to you.

I know it was a difficult week. But I hope you’re not taking it against us. I promise I will drink that milk that your Daddy Mangot prepares for us; I will eat all those fruits that he requires me to eat; I will eat all those vegetables that I always see in my plate (even if it’s ampalaya); and above all, I will take all those walking session with your Daddy. But please, please let us hear your heartbeat. Show us your face.

I promise you, everything will be alright. Things will fall into its place and Mommy will learn to genuinely smile again. Just give us that sign that you’re alright and safe.

Mommy and Daddy is so excited to see you. Daddy is preparing your playpen. So please, please heed our call.

We love you baby. We do. We can’t wait to actually see you and to actually hold you in our arms.

Love,

Mommy Arte

I truly hope that He hears this. But for now, all we could do is wait and pray.